Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Snippets - #125: The Teen Model Mystery and #151: The Chocolate-Covered Contest


My sister has been prying into my Nancy Drew collection in my absence. I returned home Saturday night to discover stacks of books just lying around on my bed and the floor of my room. And what my sister had to tell me about it all was how many giggles she got out of reading some of them. And so, just for her, here's a post with snippets from those books while I prepare my next post.

#125: The Teen Model Mystery
Nancy goes to Chicago to visit a friend from River Heights by the name of Cindy, who is rising up the ranks in the modeling world. Cindy is about to film a commercial for a major campaign, but she goes missing. When Nancy starts investigating, she gets a ton of death threats and people try to kill her (but that's nothing new- no big deal for our girl sleuth).
Now I have to say, I'm quite a nerd when it comes to many things- and surprisingly (amidst my love for history, literature, Harry Potter, and assorted other geeky things), I really love fashion. For a few years I even had every intent of being the next Valentino Garavani. That dream did not quite carry on because I realised I would be missing out on things that are of more value to me (for most designers it takes 20+ years to get some recognition in the business... if they even last more than a few seasons). Nevertheless, I still consider myself pretty knowledgeable about the fashion industry and I wondered how I would feel about this Nancy Drew book if I read it again.
Thanks to my sister, I didn't have to read it again to understand that it isn't that realistic- not just in regards to the random dangerous circumstances in which Nancy finds herself, but also in terms of the 'fashion'. First of all, I cannot imagine Cindy is such a great model just because she's living in Chicago (a city which is hardly on the map when it comes to fashion). If she's not in New York, Paris, Milan, or London, she is not on any promising path toward top model status. Second, why on earth is a model doing cereal commercials? For an industry that places so much value on super-slim figures (consider that this book was written in 1995, at the height of the 'waif'' craze brought on by Kate Moss) I cannot figure how a model would receive any credibility for doing a cereal commercial. Nancy, wait until she's set to star in a commercial for a Giorgio Armani fragrance- then it will actually matter that she's missing.
Spoiler Alert: As it turns out, Cindy's disappearance is entirely voluntary. She runs away because after eating the cereal she was supposed to be advertising, she breaks out in hives all over her face, ostensibly due to a nut allergy. Except the cereal doesn't contain nuts, meaning that some person was trying to sabotage her. My question is: Why does she have to run away because of this? I think my immediate response would be to GET TO A HOSPITAL. But no. Cindy's a model. It just wouldn't be classy to seek medical attention in the wake of an allergic reaction- instead Cindy has to vanish without a trace and let good old Nancy dodge increasingly creative attempts on her life. Not a bad deal, except that cereal commercial- you know, the one that was going to catapult you to major fame and supermodel ranking? Yeah, that part didn't quite pan out for you in your absence.
But speaking of Nancy and dodging things- best part of the book is when (in one of those end-of-chapter cliffhangers), our heroine walks out of a store with Bess and someone pushes an enormous dumpster toward them in hopes of finishing them off. Unfortunately for the culprit (and just about every suspect in the following books), the dumpster hits a speed bump, veers wildly and hits a parked car instead. What happens next?

'Oh no!' The herbalist came running out of his shop. 'My car! What a bummer!' (80)

Awww, my car just got totaled- bummer. My business is going bankrupt- bummer. My wife just left me- bummer. A tornado destroyed my house and I have no where to live. What a bummer.



#151: The Chocolate-Covered Contest
Nancy and Bess are supervising a field trip to the Royal Chocolates amusement park with some grade-school science nerds. While walking around the park, Bess rips open a chocolate bar to discover that she's won a million-dollar prize- but when she tries to claim her prize money, she and Nancy are told that the ticket has already been found and Bess is promptly accused of forging the winning ticket. Nancy then has to figure out the whole mess since this heinous crime cannot go unsolved.

Although there are some things in this book that I definitely intend to poke fun at (including the plot), I must say it will always hold some small place in my heart for being the first Nancy Drew book I ever read. When I was 8 years old, I unwrapped a package of four Nancy Drew books- including this one- at Christmas from my older cousins (both of whom loved the books when they were younger). Gosh, if only they knew what they were starting...
Anyhow, this book really reminds me of the 'newer' books in the Boxcar Children series- you know, those ones that just sound really stupid, like the publishers were trying to appeal to the new generation of kids whose brains are hammered with television commercials about prizes hidden in candy wrappers and video games that can be played on any Super Nintendo (old-school Super Mario will always be better than the new games on PS26 or whatever number they're on now).
So back to this strange mystery on Nancy's modest, unmanicured hands. Apparently her mere presence is such a threat that the culprit sees fit to try sabotaging her investigation (and when has that ever happened in a Nancy Drew book?). The first incident occurs when Nancy, Bess, and the Science Sleuths are driving through some random jungle area of the theme park. Another car speeds wildly around a corner toward them and Andrea, the science teacher leading the field trip, has to turn sharply in order to avoid it- causing their car to roll down a slope and ram into a wire fence. They land in a swampy sort of area and get trapped in the mud; and just to make matters worse...

Half submerged in the water near their feet was a seven-foot reptile, its muscles tensed as it slid out of the stream (29).

Don't you just hate it when the culprit forces you off the road in an out-of-place mini jungle, knowing that your car will surely tumble down a slope, plow down an apparently insecure fence, and leave you as a lunchtime snack for a theme park's pet crocodile?
What a bummer...

There is also another line, in the penultimate chapter, which I think serves as a flawless testament to the many cheesy lines these ghost writers think up. After Nancy has discovered the culprit and chased them, s/he somehow manages to trap our protagonist in an area of the chocolate factory where a vat of scalding melted chocolate will be poured all over them. So what's the culprit's menacing line to clue Nancy in on her unfortunate fate?

'Do you know what the police are going to find when they get here? A wonderful treat. A new flavour of Royal Chocolate. Chocolate Nancy' (135).

The only way I could possibly respond to this line is with one of Johnny Depp's quotes from the so-so 2005 remake of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:
'Can you imagine Augustus-flavoured chocolate-coated Gloop? Ew. No one would buy it.'

And that's all I've got this time around. I am hard at work on the next post, so stay tuned for The Mystery of the 99 Steps. And for now, enjoy!

Monday, March 15, 2010

As we wait...

Quarter ends on Saturday. So, while you wait and I drown in a cycle of studying and sleep deprivation, any requests on books I should write about?
No real point to this post, other than to get some feedback and suggestions. If you recall a Nancy Drew book that you loved back in the day, give me the title (or, if you can't remember it, describe it to me and I'll try and find it). Or choose one that sounds weirdly intriguing. I'm open to anything, even if I've read it before.

That's about it- I'll be back soon!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

It's MARCH?!

You know what's really sad? The fact that I haven't logged in for such a long time that I had to type in my e-mail and password because blogspot didn't remember it anymore. That's pretty sad.

And my other thought at the moment (foreshadowed in the title of this post) is something like this: how the heck is it March already? Like, what? But February just started. I don't even remember Valentine's Day... oh wait, now it's coming back to me. I spent the morning handing out balloons to random people in my dorm since I stole about thirty of them from a stoplight dance the night before. If you don't know what a stoplight dance is, here's a simple formula as to what the color of your clothing is supposed to mean: green = single, yellow = it's complicated, red = in a relationship. I, of course, wore blue. *high-fives the mirror*
After that, I rushed to finish an essay that was due that very day (yes, on Valentine's Day, and yes, on a Sunday... yeah, I was all WTF too).

But the main point of this post was supposed to be something like...

Dearly beloved readers of my blog (all three of you),
I apologize for the lack of amazing, witty posts. And here's the scenario: two and a half weeks left in the quarter, six essays left to complete, and three finals. The last of which is at 6pm on a Saturday (so cruel). I swear, it's almost over. And believe me when I say I am telling that to myself as much as I am to you. I could desperately use a break and for once I would like to read something out of pure enjoyment... like Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the 99 Steps. This one is so unrealistic that I am relishing the thought of writing that post already. As though any Nancy Drew book is actually realistic, right? But this is one of the worst I've read, so stay tuned- just another two and a half weeks and the wait is over.
(It sort of reminds me of the years when I had to wait two months for the next Nancy Drew book to be published- I'd make my parents drive me to Border's the day it was released, finish it in three days at the very longest, and then the waiting game would resume yet again.)

I'll quit digressing since I have a paper due tomorrow... Wish me luck and I will be back at it soon enough!